Here's To A Boring Year

Too much excitement just might kill me!

Wherein I talk myself in circles

I’ve just received my last pay from the ‘too good to be true’ part time from home job I fell into after Monkey was born. The odds of finding something similar do not look good – part time work in my field is sadly lacking, let alone employers who will let you telecommute (I have no idea why, you would think the IT industry would be all over it, but no).

So now I’m officially a stay at home mum. I find this both liberating (no more having to cram in work during naps or in the evenings) and terrifying (omg no money!).

Before I had Monkey I had a successful career and I earned a very good wage – more than Hubs in fact. But we agree that it is important for me to stay home while the kids are little. I feel very lucky that we are able to manage it and very grateful that Hubs supports me staying home – in fact I think it means even more to him than it does to me.

Yet for some reason I cannot stop chasing my own tail on this issue. If I went back to work all our money worries would vanish in a puff of dual-income (even considering the added cost of daycare). But I still feel like Monkey is too young to go to daycare full time. He still nurses to sleep for naps. I do think he would enjoy it and I would be happy to send him a few mornings a week, but the 10 hours a day he would have to be in care for me to work full time feels like way too much.

And part time work is hard to come by, which means there’s a good chance I won’t be working again until after a second (and possibly third?) child is in school. Which is many many years away, during which time my skills will atrophy and become so outdated that I will be pretty much unemployable.

So when it comes time to get back into the workforce I will probably have to look at re-skilling. Could be a great opportunity to change careers… but to what?? There isn’t exactly a plethora of jobs in mathematics (which I was studying for fun before Monkey came along). Also, money is good writing software. Probably not so much in anything else I might do.

What I really need is my old job back, or a similar one. Flexible part time work from home in my professional field – I’m sure that’s every mum’s dream! I wonder if I can make my own work. Perhaps I could keep my skills current by writing software in my own time – but that feels like work without the pay and seems like a waste of time!

So conflicted.

If someone would just arrange to give me money in return for my being awesome, that would be swell.


2 comments on “Wherein I talk myself in circles

  1. glumbunny
    November 14, 2012

    Ooof, this is a tough one. I have to go back to work in a…number…of weeks that I refuse to count but which is increasingly small, and I’m not excited about it. Careers are nice and all, but babies are only babies for such a short while. It sounds like you have mad (that’s American for very good) skills, though, so while it’s probably no comfort now, I suspect you’ll land on your feet when you do return. And who knows, it may be sooner than you think. But I’m with you–either choice is HARD.

    • boringyear
      November 15, 2012

      I don’t care particularly about the career, just the money. Its been a shock to lose more than half the household income! But I don’t regret it and I know I’m lucky that we can make it work.

      In my field skills go out of date extremely fast. If I’m lucky I might be able to get back in at a graduate level.

      But I had a brainwave last night and decided if I need to reskill maybe I will study early childhood education and become a preschool/grade 1 teacher! That would give me the flexibility to have school holidays at home, and I think I would really enjoy it.

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This entry was posted on November 12, 2012 by in baby talk, brain fry.
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