Here's To A Boring Year

Too much excitement just might kill me!

Banana legs

Since Monkey was born, I have become the proud owner of what I lovingly call ‘banana legs’. See below.

image

A banana leg

(It has proven to be quite difficult to photograph my own legs. That fluffy thing underneath is a dog.)

So sexy. Most of the time I have no idea what I did to get these bruises, and don’t remember when they occurred.

I’m not sure if it’s a result of sleep deprivation-induced clumsiness with an added side of ‘can’t see because I’m carrying a baby’ or if I have always been really clumsy but never realised because I used to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day. Or possibly ‘must prevent impending baby/dog showdown, no time to dodge furniture’.

Maybe I should invent shin pads for parents. They could come in a glorious variety of colours and patterns, like the Baby Legs I love so much. They’re super cute on little ones… that will scale won’t it?

Useful in the infant stages for when you keep walking into the corner of your coffee table. Useful in toddlerhood when they ride the tricycle into your legs. And again in the teenage years when they take up slam-dancing. No?

OK then.

Did you notice a significant increase in accidental self-inflicted injuries after your kids were born? Will I ever get my unblemished yet still pasty white legs back?

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3 comments on “Banana legs

  1. bionicbrooklynite
    March 3, 2013

    Oh, definitely. Plus I was badly anemic for a while there and then on a drug that messes with blood vessel constriction, so my wife made me go to the doctor about it. Eventually, I realized that the bruise on my arm that never went away was the place my son kicked while he nursed. We live in a tiny, crowded apartment, so being even a little off my game from sleep deprivation or anything else means running into everything. Ah, well.

  2. Mina
    March 3, 2013

    Indeed, I seem to have found an endless source of new bruises that appear out of the blue (heh, what an image…). But I have always been clumsy and in a perpetual rush, so it is not all that surprising after all.
    I also have extremely dry hands from constantly washing up something (a favourite bowl/spoon/cup whatever have you), but also extremely dry feet, which is puzzling. It is like I have started growing tree bark on my feet. Most unpleasant, especially since it doesn’t get better when moisturizing. Maybe I will get to the bottom of this sometime.

    • boringyear
      March 4, 2013

      I get the dry feet thing too! The balls of my feet crack – it’s nasty.

      For me it comes from wearing no shoes all summer. When I start wearing slippers all day during winter it goes away again.

      Pumice helps mine a little.

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This entry was posted on March 3, 2013 by in brain fry.
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